We received this email recently. Can you offer Gerard any advice?
“Should I be looking for love? Maybe I should rephrase that. Would it be selfish for me to look for love? My name is Gerard and I will tell you a little bit about my situation. Sometimes it’s better to get an outside perspective on things because minds are not clouded by minor details.
I have already been married once. I loved my wife very much, but finances became a touchy situation and things went sour. This is unfortunate, especially considering my financial situation has picked back up. I used to work for someone else and lost my job. Once I hit bottom, I decided to start my own business. So far, so good. But our problems went well beyond finances. At the time, I thought she was the problem because she complained so much, but looking back on it, I’m not sure if that’s true. I have an addictive personality. When I first met her, I was addicted to her. But once I accomplished that goal, I moved on to the next one. I have been addicted to poker, running, lifting weights, making money, and even cleaning. These types of habits can often lead to problems in a relationship. I’m a loving and caring person, but I have a strange way of showing it. I guess my way of showing it is by not showing it at all. But the feelings really are there. I guess I can say that’s what makes me unique.
My dilemma is pretty obvious. I don’t want to get involved in a relationship if it’s going to fail. You might think that the best solution is to simply change. But I’m in my mid-thirties; I have admitted to myself that I’m not going to change. This means I have one of two options. I can either continue to play the field and be lonely for the rest of my life or I can try to find someone who will accept me for who I am. The best case scenario is that I find someone who is just like me, but this is not likely. Plus, in that situation, I think I should be careful of what I wish for. I truly am confused and I just want to do the right thing. I don’t want to break anyone’s heart – including my own. Do you have any thoughts or opinions on this matter? What do you think I should do?”
